Normal Stories - Part 1 - Smile, Say Hello, and Get the Conversation Started
Over the next month and a half, Arts After Hours is going to be publishing content here in connection with our production of Next to Normal, running June 1-June 17. The Tony and Pulitzer Prize winning family drama is about a woman dealing with
mental illness, and the impact the struggle within her own mind has on her
entire family.
We have asked patrons, artists, friends, and family to share their stories, their diagnosis, and the impact it has had on their daily and family life. So many of you have shared and we now are ready to begin our conversation. Here is the first of a series of many stories we will share in the coming weeks. Laura's story is a great starting point for us. She is also the amazing volunteer who has collected many of your stories to get them ready for this blog. A true advocate and champion of getting these stories heard and ever hopeful that we can crush the stigma and begin talking more openly about mental illness:
Laura's Story
My name is Laura Sanscartier. I am a professional singer, writer, wife, daughter, sister, aunt, and lover of all things geek pop-culture! I have a degree in Voice from Emmanuel College in Boston. I currently work as a part-time librarian, part-time singer, and part-time mental health advocate. I am married to the next candidate for canonization, Paul, and am the proud aunt of Connor, Luca, Zoe, and Lavinia! When I'm not cataloging, singing, writing, or wrangling toddlers, I can be found with my head in a book, or a Netflix remote clutched in my hand.
I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression when I was 15 years old. As I grew older, my symptoms evolved, and I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder I. I am a rape survivor, and over the years after my rape, I was also diagnosed with PTSD.
I would describe Bipolar Disorder as a roller-coaster you wish you hadn't gotten on! It is a mood disorder of very low depressive states (sometimes making one suicidal), and high states of anger or euphoria called mania. A person with Bipolar I can sometimes have periods of stability in between these highs and lows; it is a unique process and experience for every individual. I would then describe PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder) as a disorder that acts like a little evil leprechaun. It pops its head out and creates mischief when it feels like it, with very little rhyme or reason. The symptoms are flashbacks of the trauma itself, nightmares, an extreme "startle reflex" called hyperplexia, panic attacks, and so forth. Again, the disorder's ways are unique to the individual.
The hardships I have faced cover every aspect of my life; you can't walk away from your own brain! I am on SSDI (Social Security Disability), as I am unable to work a full-time job. After years of taking on new jobs and either having to quit (to be hospitalized), or getting fired, my family and I made the choice for me to apply for these benefits. I am lucky that I was eligible. I have faced a lot of stigma, which I deal with in my own way, but more than that, I have seen the toll my conditions take on my husband, family, and friends. I dreamed as a kid that I would one day be a famous opera singer. My career started to take on that possibility, and I began to build toward it. Ultimately, my illnesses were so severe that I could no longer pursue my dream. That and my family's heartache have been the saddest hardships to bear.
Ultimately, I have triumphed over my illnesses because I am still here; I am still alive. I tried to commit suicide twice when I was younger, and have had many other times when I've needed medical intervention to overcome those urges. My greatest triumph is continuing to live.
This condition affects my daily life in that I must take copious amounts of medication, multiple times a day. I have had almost 100 treatments of ECT (Electroconvulsive Therapy), and have tried TMS (Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation). These treatments have taken large amounts of my long-term memory, and my short-term memory is terrible. I write lots of things down, and use apps to help me focus on what I need to get done everyday. My family are an absolute God-send, and I don't know what I'd do without them. These conditions of mine have helped me educate and inform my family, which I believe is a positive effect, but they also worry a lot and have to visit me at the hospital a lot!, which I'm sure they'd rather not have to do.
To someone who has been diagnosed with these conditions: You are loved. You are worthy. You have done nothing wrong. You don't "deserve this". Take the time to take care of yourself and learn as much as you can, so you can be the best version of you. You can do great things, in all aspects of life.
I would like the world to know that IT'S OK TO TALK ABOUT MENTAL ILLNESS!!!!!!!! Talking about something uncomfortable only helps it to be less uncomfortable, and more can be done to help each other. Never be afraid. Just smile, say hello, and get the conversation started!
We have asked patrons, artists, friends, and family to share their stories, their diagnosis, and the impact it has had on their daily and family life. So many of you have shared and we now are ready to begin our conversation. Here is the first of a series of many stories we will share in the coming weeks. Laura's story is a great starting point for us. She is also the amazing volunteer who has collected many of your stories to get them ready for this blog. A true advocate and champion of getting these stories heard and ever hopeful that we can crush the stigma and begin talking more openly about mental illness:
Laura's Story
My name is Laura Sanscartier. I am a professional singer, writer, wife, daughter, sister, aunt, and lover of all things geek pop-culture! I have a degree in Voice from Emmanuel College in Boston. I currently work as a part-time librarian, part-time singer, and part-time mental health advocate. I am married to the next candidate for canonization, Paul, and am the proud aunt of Connor, Luca, Zoe, and Lavinia! When I'm not cataloging, singing, writing, or wrangling toddlers, I can be found with my head in a book, or a Netflix remote clutched in my hand.
I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression when I was 15 years old. As I grew older, my symptoms evolved, and I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder I. I am a rape survivor, and over the years after my rape, I was also diagnosed with PTSD.
I would describe Bipolar Disorder as a roller-coaster you wish you hadn't gotten on! It is a mood disorder of very low depressive states (sometimes making one suicidal), and high states of anger or euphoria called mania. A person with Bipolar I can sometimes have periods of stability in between these highs and lows; it is a unique process and experience for every individual. I would then describe PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder) as a disorder that acts like a little evil leprechaun. It pops its head out and creates mischief when it feels like it, with very little rhyme or reason. The symptoms are flashbacks of the trauma itself, nightmares, an extreme "startle reflex" called hyperplexia, panic attacks, and so forth. Again, the disorder's ways are unique to the individual.
The hardships I have faced cover every aspect of my life; you can't walk away from your own brain! I am on SSDI (Social Security Disability), as I am unable to work a full-time job. After years of taking on new jobs and either having to quit (to be hospitalized), or getting fired, my family and I made the choice for me to apply for these benefits. I am lucky that I was eligible. I have faced a lot of stigma, which I deal with in my own way, but more than that, I have seen the toll my conditions take on my husband, family, and friends. I dreamed as a kid that I would one day be a famous opera singer. My career started to take on that possibility, and I began to build toward it. Ultimately, my illnesses were so severe that I could no longer pursue my dream. That and my family's heartache have been the saddest hardships to bear.
Ultimately, I have triumphed over my illnesses because I am still here; I am still alive. I tried to commit suicide twice when I was younger, and have had many other times when I've needed medical intervention to overcome those urges. My greatest triumph is continuing to live.
This condition affects my daily life in that I must take copious amounts of medication, multiple times a day. I have had almost 100 treatments of ECT (Electroconvulsive Therapy), and have tried TMS (Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation). These treatments have taken large amounts of my long-term memory, and my short-term memory is terrible. I write lots of things down, and use apps to help me focus on what I need to get done everyday. My family are an absolute God-send, and I don't know what I'd do without them. These conditions of mine have helped me educate and inform my family, which I believe is a positive effect, but they also worry a lot and have to visit me at the hospital a lot!, which I'm sure they'd rather not have to do.
To someone who has been diagnosed with these conditions: You are loved. You are worthy. You have done nothing wrong. You don't "deserve this". Take the time to take care of yourself and learn as much as you can, so you can be the best version of you. You can do great things, in all aspects of life.
I would like the world to know that IT'S OK TO TALK ABOUT MENTAL ILLNESS!!!!!!!! Talking about something uncomfortable only helps it to be less uncomfortable, and more can be done to help each other. Never be afraid. Just smile, say hello, and get the conversation started!
Laura-you are a gift to those who suffer in silence! Your courageous honesty is admirable.
ReplyDeleteLaura; you remind me that it is my OBLIGATION to be a warm and secure shelter for people who suffer from mental illness. I can listen; I can smile; I can hug. Beyond that we will see, but it all starts with me being available. You are a gutsy lady Laura.
ReplyDelete