Normal Stories - Part III - Never Be Afraid to Be You

Here is our next installment in the Normal Stories series in conjunction with our production of Next to Normal, running June 1-June 17.  The Tony and Pulitzer Prize winning family drama is about a woman dealing with mental illness, and the impact the struggle within her own mind has on her entire family.

We have asked patrons, artists, friends, and family to share their stories, their diagnosis, and the impact it has had on their daily and family life. So many of you have shared and we now are excited to facilitate a greater conversation. Here is the third in a series of many stories we will share in the coming weeks. Joe is a teacher and musician from Lynn, MA. Here is his story.



Joe's Story

My Name is Joe Skahan. I am a 35 year old special education teacher from Lynn, MA. Currently I am employed with the Lynn Public Schools at the Fecteau-Leary Jr/Sr alternative on North Common St, working on the therapeutic behavioral program. At Fecteau, I teach Biology, Marine Biology, and 7th grade Science. My past education includes a B.A. in Visual Art from Westfield State University, M.A.T. in Teaching English as a Second Language from Salem State University (where my focus was urban languages and AAVE), and am currently working towards finishing a M.Ed. in Special Education from Cambridge College.

I also am an avid musician and have a music studio offering music and songwriting lessons at the LynnArts Building on Exchange St. I play music in several music projects including The Boogie Bros, Katey & The Illicit, and Malibu Sands Beach Club, as well as a great solo career performing as Joe Skahan Music. I have played all across New England and I am also a resident artist performing at Historic Faneuil Hall Marketplace. In my free time, I enjoy going to the beach and hanging out with my three-legged service dog Dusty.

I have been diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder, PTSD and ADHD. I would describe my condition as a disorder that causes a struggle of vast internal conflict from anxiety and depression, to mood swings that occur almost instantaneous by the smallest of triggers, compulsions that cannot be controlled, lack of focus and structure, and promiscuous and dangerous behaviors. In simple it is a daily struggle to stay positive, and make it through each day. It’s a condition of survival.

I have discovered many hardships with this condition especially with maintaining healthy romantic relationships with others. My impulses in addition to dramatic mood swings and poor decision making because of this, has led me to make various, and in some cases unforgiving choices that have not ended well. These have included bouts with substance abuse, extreme problems with money management, promiscuous and at-risk behaviors, and various negative mood swings, which at times I have lost control (never, ever, physically). I have seen people struggle with how to deal with me and my condition and have had quite a few give up. I think that is the hardest thing that I have had to deal with, especially when you care for someone immensely and they walk away, and you feel at a loss. You try everything and nothing seems to work, and at times you feel that your own brain and mind are out to get you and sabotage your life. In the end you feel even worse about not only the situation, but also yourself, and in my past experiences, these instances of walking away have led to even more of a decline in behavior and self-hate, which again triggered impulsive and dangerous behaviors. It was an ongoing cycle for over ten years.

I have experienced many triumphs while having this condition. I am an accomplished and known educator in the city of Lynn, due to my unique approaches to learning, and hands on techniques. I have won various awards for my teaching and education career as well (including Most Valuable Teacher from the Boston Red Sox, and The Ocean Stewardship award from the New England Aquarium) I have achieved not only a college degree, but have pursued higher education in completing a Masters in Teaching Program (TESL) and have almost completed a M. Ed in Special Education, earning great marks in both programs. I have played music all around New England and have performed at some of the biggest and best clubs in Boston including a residency at Faneuil Hall, as well as being able to open a music and songwriting studio which specializes in lessons for students with disabilities and low income students. I have been able to teach and do what I love every day and give back to those in need. I also feel that each day that goes by is an individual triumph. I take it one day at time, focus on that day, and work hard to get through it, and when that day is over and before I go to sleep, I celebrate my success.

This condition affects my life every day. Every day is a struggle to balance moods and keep focus on the task at hand. My mind is constantly racing, and bouncing from thought to thought, and sometimes mood to mood. I have to constantly check and balance my brain all the time. Often times I feel like each day I am playing a role in a hit dramatic movie, playing the façade each moment. Arriving cheerful with a huge smile on my face, emanating positivity for my students and colleagues, laughing and joking, being “normal” while on the inside feeling an absolute mess. It’s hard, every single day.

I read a quote once that sort of sums up my daily struggle “My Depressed self would probably not be so depressed, if my manic self didn’t make so many commitments for it to keep.”

The condition has been pretty great with my family. I am honest with my parents about how I feel and when I feel it, they are also very aware of when I make mistakes and slip-up, and when my moods go astray they understand and know that sometimes, it really is not me in control. They are super supportive of all that I do, and it means the world to me. They are educated on the topic and condition and strive to know more to help.

My advice is to never, ever give up. Every day is going to be a struggle, and you need to face that head on. Find a good support system to help you: family, friends, doctors, etc.  Always be honest to yourself with how you feel and it is ok to show emotions. If medications are needed TAKE THEM EVERY DAY, they are there to help you, and never, ever feel different. It will never get easy, but by taking important steps to help maintain your mental health can make things a little less difficult to get by. Also be proud and honest about your condition and never be afraid to be you.

I want the world to know that it is ok to talk about mental health, to not be afraid, and that some of the greatest minds and people past and present suffered from various mental illnesses and it is not a recipe for disaster. We are your teachers, doctors, artists, lawyers, and more that make the world go round. I would like the world to provide more education about mental health to families and the overall general public to let them know how to receive, appreciate and understand people with mental illness. 

THERE IS NO CURE, just education, love and awareness.


 Next to Normal runs at Arts After Hours from June 1-June 17. For more information visit http://artsafterhours.com or call 781-205-4010.

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